


When He Awoke

by im_a_supernatural_moose, lcdrsuperseal



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: 6.25 coda, Developing Relationship, M/M, episode coda, liver transplant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-09 09:53:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,601
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6901114
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/im_a_supernatural_moose/pseuds/im_a_supernatural_moose, https://archiveofourown.org/users/lcdrsuperseal/pseuds/lcdrsuperseal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Post-6.25 McDanno heavy fic on how Steve is dealing with the transplant.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When He Awoke

**Author's Note:**

> So, lcdrsuperseal and I collaborated on this after a late night discussion accompanied by alcohol. This was the result about a week later. Hope you all enjoy!

He was floating. Drifting along in a haze. Opening his eyes was a struggle, but fortunately breathing was no problem. Fresh oxygen was directly under his nose. On his next inhale, he forced his eyes open. White surrounded him and a sterile smell accompanied every breath. “Danny?” he rasped.

“Yeah, I’m right here. You alright?” His best friend’s voice floated across to him, not sounding quite as raspy as his, but still raspy. “One minute, I need to call a nurse.” There was a click and a beep, “Okay, that’s done. I’d offer to get you a glass of water but I’m kinda hooked up as well.”

_Pain. Searing pain, blinding pain, relentless pain. It was radiating from his gut. He’d been shot. Blood was seeping through his fingers, warm and sticky. Danny was shaking his shoulder, almost screaming at him to stay awake. He was fighting, but already his vision was darkening. Then there were guns and then blackness._

“I was shot.” He was confused. Surely he should be dead?

“Yeah. The bullets messed you up pretty bad. Your liver was useless.” At these words Steve looked down, shifting the blanket and moving his gown. Stitches adorned his torso, the incisions red and raised. His fingers drifted down to caress them, skimming over the surface.

“Why am I still alive then?” His voice seemed distant, the rasp still present.

“I dona-” the detective started, stopping when the door opened. A nurse came bustling through, stopping at the end of Danny’s bed first. “Is everything okay with you Detective Williams?”

“Yes, ma’am. I’m good,” Danny replied.

“Okay. I’ll come back to you in a minute, do a check of your incisions.” She moved over to Steve’s bed. “Well now, Commander McGarrett, how are you feeling?”

Steve stopped and considered. “Sore, tired, like I’ve been shot. Thirsty. Could I get a drink?”

The nurse poured a glass of water from the jug on the bedside table and stuck a straw in it. “Slowly. Too fast and you’ll be sick.”

“Yes ma’am.” Steve slowly sipped the water whilst the nurse checked his sheet and vitals.

“How are your pain levels?” she asked.

Steve finished his sip before answering, “Low. Almost non-existent.”

“We’ll keep your dosage at the level it is now then. If the pain does increase, press your call button.” She pushed a button into his right hand. “Okay, I need to check your incisions now. Want me to close the curtains or are they okay open?”

“They can stay open. He’s seen me shirtless before, it’s no biggie.”

“Okay then. Let’s have a look.” The nurse repeated Steve’s earlier actions, exposing the cuts. “Your stitches look good, so I’m just going to check for any undue swelling. It might hurt a little bit, if it hurts too much, let me know.” Steve nodded his understanding, and the nurse began pushing at the tender edges of the wounds. The nurse was right, the pain did become more noticeable, but it was manageable.

When she finished she smiled. “Everything looks good. A doctor will be in later to talk to you more about living with a liver transplant. Detective Williams, your turn. Curtains?”

“Nah, they’re fine. Like Steve said, we’ve seen each other shirtless before,” Danny replied.

“Okay. Same for you, I’m just going to check for swelling. If it hurts, let me know.”

“Got it.”

Danny’s blanket and gown were pushed to the side and the nurse repeated the gentle prodding. “When the doctor comes in, he’ll talk to you about living with half a liver until it regenerates. Your friend, Officer Kalakaua, seemed amazed by the fact that the liver regrows itself,” she said as she did the examination. “Yep, everything seems fine here. Okay, I’m going to go see to my other patients, you boys behave. If you need anything, use the call button!”

The nurse left, the door shutting behind her with a click. Steve looked at Danny, who was adjusting his cover. “Danny?” The full question didn’t need to be asked. They knew each other well enough to communicate with one word questions and looks.

Danny looked at him, “I couldn’t let you die. I couldn’t do that to the team, or Grace, or Charlie, or Nahele. I couldn’t do that to me. I lost Matt because I didn’t do anything. I wasn’t going to lose you for the same reason.” There were tears in his eyes.

Steve’s hand reached out. Danny looked at it for half a second and then stretched his out to grasp it. “I couldn’t lose you. You mean too much to me. So I gave you half of my liver.”

Steve squeezed the detective’s hand and said, “Thank you, Danno. I love you, buddy.”

“I love you too, man,” Danny replied, smiling and squeezing Steve’s hand back. Steve’s head cocked to the side, a curious look on his face. Their hands fell apart and they lay in silence for a while.

“I thought you were going to die.” The confession was low and the blonde’s voice trembling with held in emotion. “I thought I was going to lose you. Do you remember what you said?”

“No.”

“You said ‘I’m gonna die, Danny.’ You just said it, so matter-of-fact whilst you were bleeding out and slowly losing consciousness. You just accepted it.” Danny looked at him then, blue eyes bright and fierce and angry. “Don’t you _ever_ accept that you’re going to die again, do you understand me? You do not get to die, Steven, not like that. Never like that. You do not give up, whilst there is still hope, do you get that? Because I can’t lose you, and the kids can’t lose you, and the team can’t lose you! You have a family, an ohana, you do not get to give up! Heck, you practically have two kids, you’re pretty much a father! Nahele and Grace love you like a father! Charlie’s gonna get there one day too. You have me, I love you! So. You. Do. Not. Die.”

“Danny,” Steve whispered. “Danny. I’m sorry, man. I’m sorry, I don’t know why, I just, I don’t know. I don’t even remember saying that. I remember you shaking me and then nothing. Not until I woke up here. But I promise you, I won’t give up. Never again. I swear it. You’re right, I have a family, I have kids. I’m sorry. Man, I wish I could hug you right now, I’m so, so sorry.”

Silence fell again, but this time the two men were looking at each other, heads resting against pillows and eyes locked. Their faces were open; emotions, thoughts and questions were dancing across for the other to see and interpret and respond to.

“Grace thinks of me as a father?”

“Yeah. I thought you knew.”

“No. I’m honoured.”

“You’d better be. My little girl loves you like she loves me.”

Steve stuck his tongue out. They fell silent again, but only for a few minutes this time.

“I’m sorry I’ve been such an ass recently,” Danny said. Shame and guilt adorned his chiselled features.

“It hasn’t just been you. I’ve been snappy as well. I’m sorry,” Steve replied, worrying his lower lip.

“I should’ve been there for you. For everything. Deb. Cath. Case aftermaths. I should’ve been there and I wasn’t. I pushed you away and I’m sorry.”

“I should’ve been there for you. Matt. Charlie and Rachel. Melissa. I was too self-centred. So, I’m sorry.”

“Call it even and move on?”

“Yeah, I like the sound of that.”

They smiled at each other.

“You know-” Steve started before falling silent. He opened his mouth then shut it again.

Danny raised his eyebrows, “Not if you don’t tell me, I don’t.”

The SEAL cleared his throat, feeling awkward. “Nah, never mind. It doesn’t matter. It was stupid.”

“Most things you say or do are stupid. I don’t judge you anymore. Spit it out,” Danny insisted. Steve looked away, a faint blush creeping up his throat and staining his cheeks. “Why are you blushing?”

“I was wondering, if perhaps, um-” Steve began again. “Dammit, why is this so hard?”

“Why is what so hard?” Danny asked, eyes narrowed and head tilted.

“DoyoufeelthesamewayaboutmeasIfeelaboutyou?” Steve rushed out in one breath. Danny stilled, eyes locked on Steve’s turned away face.

“Repeat that for me? Slowly? So I can give you a proper answer?” Danny requested, heart thumping in his chest.

Steve took a trembling breath. “Do you feel the same way about me as I feel about you? Do you love me, like you loved Rachel?”

“Steve?”

“Danny. Please.”

“Danno loves you _more_ than he loved Rachel.”

 

 

_3 weeks later_

 

Being woken up by pain was rapidly becoming second nature to Steve. He moaned as he covered his abdomen with his hands, trying hard not to move around too much. He'd had his stitches out yesterday and was reminded by the nurse to take it easy if he wanted to return to work on time. The doctors gave him six months to recover before going back to Five 0, and it was going to be the longest six months ever.   
  
But at least there was one upside.

"Babe, you awake?"

"Yeah..." Steve turned his head to look at Danny and smiled when he saw the blonde staring back at him from the next pillow, but he quickly grimaced when a new wave of pain hit him. "Son of a..." Steve slowly curled onto his side, grabbing Danny's outstretched hand. Using his free hand, the blonde reached to his nightstand and grabbed some pain pills.

"Here, babe." He pressed them into his lover’s free hand and helped him with some water to take them with before relaxing back into the pillows. "Hey, come here you big lug..." Danny helped Steve to get comfortable under the covers. The taller man found that he was most comfortable on his back for now, so Danny turned to face him, one hand laying gently on his lover's abdomen. Neither man said anything for a little while, just laid there enjoying each other's proximity and letting the painkillers do their job.

 

Eventually, Danny started idly tracing the line of the scar running across Steve's bare belly with his fingers, taking care not to put too much pressure on it. He did this for a grand total of five seconds before Steve batted his hand away. "Don't." He mumbled, staring up at the ceiling. Danny looked at the other man's face and saw that he wouldn't meet his eyes.

 

"Hey, what's up?" Danny noticed Steve's breathing slightly speed up as he still found the ceiling interesting. "Does it still hurt?" A shake of the head. "Do you not like it?" This time Steve gave no indication that he heard him other than take a deep breath in and out, blinking a couple of times. Danny sighed. "Alright babe, I won't touch it." He found Steve's hand and squeezed it, holding it between them and smiling when the other man squeezed it back. Danny knew that he wouldn't be going back to sleep yet, so he waited for Steve to break his silence. It didn't take long.

 

"No, Danny. I don't like it. I still can't believe you gave me half of your liver - it's not like you giving me half your burger because I was hungry, it was your liver!" He said quietly, tightening his grip on his lover's hand. "I.. I don't..." Steve's face was scrunched up and he couldn't get the words past the lump in his throat. Seeing that made his heart ache, so carefully Danny tugged Steve so he was facing him and rolled onto his back. The brunette wasted no time in crawling into his lover and burying his face in his neck, letting the build up of emotions from the last few weeks escape. Danny wrapped his arms around Steve as he half laid on top of him, careful not to let him put too much pressure on his stomach. Pressing kisses into his lover's hair, Danny held him close as he cried with him. "I don't deserve it. Or you." Steve finally mumbled. Danny held his breath for a second as he processed that sentence, trying to find the right words to say.

 

"Hey," Danny brushed his fingers across Steve's cheek and through his hair until he finally coaxed the other man to look at him. Sighing, Danny brushed the mans tears away with his thumb, not surprised when Steve grabbed his arm to keep it there. "Of course you deserve it! How could you think that you don't, babe. No way was I not gonna give it to you, especially after I flew and landed that damn plane to get you to the hospital. Besides, what about my kids, huh? I couldn't tell them that Uncle Steve didn't make it. Not if I could do something about it." Danny brought his forehead to rest against Steve's, feeling the other man's eyelashes flutter against his cheek as he blinked through his tears.

 

"As for your second point, I can't even begin to explain how wrong that is, and you know if I can't find words then it must be bad, right?" Danny kissed the small smile that appeared on Steve's lips. "Of course you deserve to be loved, and you are - our ohana loves you, my kids especially love you, and I really love you, babe. Okay? You've got a family now, Steve, and we're not going anywhere." Steve let out a shuddery breath as he nodded, smiling as he let go of Danny's hand and wrapped his arm across his waist.

 

"Sorry, Danny... I didn't mean to bitch at you, babe. It's just so much to take in, y'know? I'm only 39 and I've gotta have medication every day for the rest of my life so I can keep your liver, I've got to eat more healthily, cut back on the Longboards... Everything in my life has changed - except for you, Danny.” The man in question locked eyes with Steve and they smiled at each other before leaning in for a sweet kiss. Reluctantly breaking away, much to Steve's disappointment, Danny pulled the covers up over them both and grinned when Steve tried to cuddle closer to him without putting his weight on his abdomen.

 

"You're stuck with me forever, babe. Also, you do realise that as soon as you've got the all clear from the doctor that Grace will want to go surfing with you. And Charlie wants you to show him 'all the cool stuff that lives in the sea'. Those two kids sleeping down the hall want you around almost as much as I do, as I think yesterdays breakfast in bed proved." Danny mumbled into his hair. "And hey... the doctor said that you could have sex when you feel able to, but that it wouldn't be any time soon. We'll get there, babe, just take it easy for a bit. Now come on, try and sleep some more. It's not even anywhere near daylight yet."

 

Steve smiled into Danny's neck before sleepily pressing a kiss there. "I'll try, Danno. Love you."

 

"Love you too, babe." As Danny felt Steve's breathing even out as he fell asleep, he thought – not for the first time – about what happened on that fateful day 3 weeks ago. As he looked down at the sleeping man in his arms he was reminded of why there was no doubt in his head that he wouldn't have given Steve part of his liver.


End file.
